Steve T, at a certain point, doing sing-alongs with one's family becomes a community service, like singing at an old folks' home.

Under the circumstances you described, you really can't expect it to be terribly rewarding for you compared to the music you make with your friends. So I think your best approach is either to give it up, or if people are asking you to do it, give in with good grace and give some thought to making it rewarding for the folks who are causing you so much aggravation. Maybe?

I've done hundreds of hour of piano playing, years ago, for my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins and their mates. Actually, I did enjoy it, I have no taste at all. But I can tell you, it wasn't what I wanted that determined how things would go.

I've described our family sing-alongs as being like the foreign diplomat's comment on seeing Judy Holliday in Bells Are Ringing: "Nobody could sing, but everybody sang." And Uncle Mike always had to have "Beautiful Ohio," and Uncle Jim always had to have "San Antonio Rose," and nothing could convince Uncle Jim (Sullivan) that the Irish had any music worth hearing, and ... and... and.

Still, family sing-alongs are magic and special and create a bond and a memory. Even when they're bad, they're good.

Does it really matter if they want you to lead every song? Or want to have the guitar on every song? So don't do songs you can't play, they'll never miss them, and you can sing them with your folkie friends.

Anyway, if you feel like a sacrificial lamb in these sing-alongs, well, maybe there's some truth to that. But maybe you can turn it around and put your mind to making it work well for the other participants whether it works for you or not.

Steve, this does sound awfully preachy, but I led family sing-alongs for years and I know you have to have your mind on what will make the other people happy, that's what works and that's what's rewarding in the end, not the quality of the music or even the quality of the interactions. (With certain types of relatives, the interactions are a pain in the butt actually....)

Let us know how you work it all out, huh?