Found at Bill Hanks' web site - Click to play an mp3 file. Here's my transcription:


WHAT ARCHIBALD SAYS, GOES *
Words and music by H. Castling, ©1930.
As sung by Gracie Fields, 1930.

"I don't understand some boys." said Susie, growing wild.
"They seem to think they know it all and treat me like a child.
For instance, Archibald.
Well, you know Archibald.
When nights are damp and chilly, it sleets and hails and snows,
If he says, 'Ain't it close tonight?' what Archibald says, goes.
If passing through the country, he sees a flock of crows,
When he tells me they're nightingales, what Archibald says, goes.
I know he's all wrong, but I leave well alone.
I don't contradict him, no, just sit back and moan.
When dining off a chicken, he sees the parson's nose,
If he says it's its other end, what Archibald says, goes.

"Were I ever to point out his errors," Susie said,
"Why he'd be seeking for divorce before we'd time to wed,
And so I let things go,
'Cause that means peace, you know.
That old clock of his mother's, six hours slow it shows,
So when he said it's three hours fast, what Archibald says, goes.
When I show him my photo, he swore 'twas Auntie Flo's.
I knew that it was me, but still, what Archibald says, goes.
I know he's all wrong, but I leave well alone.
I don't contradict him, no, just sit back and moan.
When I show him a posy, a tulip or a rose,
And he says it's a hollyhock, what Archibald says, goes."

The cat they've got's a she-cat, a she-cat to its toes.
I call it Jane. He calls it Jim. What Archibald says, goes.


[* Gracie apparently changed the genders of this song when she sang it. The original title of the sheet music was WHAT ANGELINE SAYS GOES.]