The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3128673
Posted By: Rapparee
04-Apr-11 - 10:13 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Oh, heck, Amos. I'll wish them ill for you and take the karma onto myself. In the true folk tradition I'll just modify an existing song a tad...

That a ghost may him haunt in the dark of the night,
May his hen never lay, may his ass never bray,
May his goat fly away like an old paper kite:
That the rats and the fleas may the wretch ever tease,
May the piercing north-breeze make him tremble and shake:
May a four-year old bug build a nest in the mug,      
The monster that took all from poor Amos' shack.

May his cock never grow, may his bellows ne'er blow,
And for bed, pot and hole may he never have none;
May his cradle not rock, may his box have no lock,
May his wife have no frock to shade her back-bone,
May his cock be a quack, may his bollocks turn black,
And stain down his pants with a long yellow streak,
May the scurvy and leech never part from the breech,
The monster that took all from poor Amos' shack.

May his pipe never smoke, may his pee-pot be broke,
And add to the joke may his kettle ne'er boil,
May he poop in the bed 'til the hour he's dead,
May he always be fed on ipacac and fish oil.
May he swell with the gout, may his grinders fall out.
May he roar, bawl and shout with the horrid tooth-ache,
May his temples wear horns, and all his toes corns,
The monster that took all from poor Amos' shack.

May his spade never dig, may his sow never pig,
May each nit in his wig be as large as a snail,
May his door have no latch, may his house have no thatch.
May his turkeys not hatch, may the rats eat his meal.
May every old fairy from Cork to Dunleary.
Dip his snug and airy in river and lake,
Where the eel and the trout they might dine on the snout.
The monster that took all from poor Amos' shack.

May his dog yelp and growl with both hunger and cold,
And his wife always scold till his brains go astray,
May the curse of each hag that e'er carried a bag,
May light on the thief till his head turns to grey.
May monkeys still bite him, and mad dogs affright him,
And every one slight him, asleep or awake,
May the mice still gnaw on him, and jack-daws shit on him,
The monster that took all from poor Amos' shack.

He/They should be easy to find after all that....