Thay are indeed, Bruce and I am sure that your daughter has also learned, albeit in a different way, that if the bullies hold no power over their victims they cannot function. Thankfully you have brought up your daughter with the right values and, from what you say, she has become a well balanced person and a credit to her father:-)

I think a lot of people are missing the point though. I was lucky, I guess, in that physical violence, apart from on one occasion which was oddly unrelated, was not the issue. When faced with threat to life, limb or those dear to us there is only the fight or flight option. But most often bullying, certainly nowadays, is not a physical thing. It is psychological and, somethimes, more damaging than the fist or boot. The point is that given this situation there is another route. It needs to be pointed out that unless you allow the name calling and other tactics to affect you they cannot do any harm.

Let me give you an example. Right here on the Mudcat there are often cases of name calling and, even though it is not strictly allowed, personal abuse. I have never considered myself threatened by this. It doesn't matter. If half the people on here said I was a two headed baby eater from the planet Zog it wouldn't matter. I know the truth. The people I care about know the truth. I really could not give a toss about what anyone else thinks of me. OK, I know that when we were kids, other kids opinions did matter. But that was when I became most proud of my daughters; when they became adult enough to see that the trite and petty opinions of those who wish to abuse power do not matter. That was when the bullying stopped. It was not external influence. It was not relying on any action by the bullies. It came from within and, whatever else happens, nothing can cause them the same stress ever again.

What I find particularly sad is that there seem to be more and more people who cannot or will not see this. They insist that everything has an external cause. That everything bad must be someone else's fault. Yet, oddly enough, all good things seem to be created by themselves. It is the blame society. Once we stop blaming other people and see that everything is within our own power then I am sure our full potential can be reached. Sadly it will not happen while people listen to those who are loudest and complain the most:-(

One final thought, which seems unrelated but, in a way, sums up the difference in attitude between the complainers and the do-ers. I believe it was the comedian Norman Wisdom, who when told that his career had had some lucky breaks, said "I have indeed been lucky. The funny thing is that the harder I work, the luckier I seem to become."

Classic

DeG