Mrrzy - telling the victim of having told somebody else about the problem is extremely dangerous - although there might be some small chance that it will help. But this chance is that small and the danger of making her refuse the help she is about to get (see LJC's message just after yours) e.g. FROM ME right now is that - what's the correct word? - great, big, high... For myself I wouldn't even dare to tell anybody about it: WHAT IF SHE FINDS OUT THAT I DID ?!?!?! - Our feelings won't help her at all; from our point of view they are honest, but to her they are just "feelings". When I'm in some trouble I'm ashamed of (! - I think that this is kind of a key) I don't need any people who loudly lament because of this but somebody who can help me to get out of it WHILE KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT.

Poor Thomas - I really don't know whether I should worry more with you or for you.

LJC - to get out of my own trouble only took me about three weeks of not knowing whether I was going to live or die, thus finding out what is important and what isn't, AND experiencing the reactions of some people that were important from this new point of view: Said reactions as well as said people after having experienced their reactions. I got help. It was given to me without any need of asking for it (!!!) Besides, I wouldn't have been able to ask for it, because I didn't know what kind of help would be that important. Moreover - those important people certainly still don't know how important their help was because I still don't know the words to really tell it to them. But I got their help in spite of all that (!!!!!)

My own job (difficult enough) was only to notice it. I did ... I DID IT! And I still do, believe me or not.

Do I have to thank you, LJC, for kicking my balls by reminding me of the fact that there are people who aren't that lucky? I almost think so. Would you believe me if I told you that I'm with you?

And still there is so much more to say...

Joerg