Well. it sounds like 'somebody' on here has an addictive personality. Today booze, tomorrow the Democrats!..but if you stop the booze, then you may be, what is called a 'dry alcoholic'...which means, even though you may stop drinking, you need to address the behavior that gives one an excuse to..and that is programming a 'failure'...which is the reason to feel sorry for one's self, so they can feel 'justified' to pick up the ol' bottle!
It becomes a viscous cycle..and often people substitute 'other things' for the booze.(like political stubbornness, to the point of OCD.

After 'forgiving' everyone for 'making you want to drink'(?), and asking forgiveness for all those you have 'offended', it can be a REALLY good idea to re-direct those energies into something more beneficial.....perhaps a more serious study of your instrument. Then any obstacle can be worked out through a serious practice, and boundaries that were limitations can be worked though......HOWEVER, as I've noted on here before, "Art for therapy may be great therapy, but it might not be great art!"

How am I doin' Ol' Ebbster?.....but I'm not practicing much more...EXCEPT FOR MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Wishes, and May the Wind Be at Your Back!

GfS