Strangely enough you won't see me there either. Totally snubbed and ignored, but still expected to pay for it.

Not that all the wild horses in western Europe coud have persuaded me to go of course. I was hoping to go to Connemara on the west coast of Ireland instead, because that's about the remotest place I can think of, and one where they definitely won't be showing it on pub tv screens. But, oh my hard fortune, the dog's not very well at the moment and it wouldn't be be fair to risk leaving him in kennels.

We're going to hide, the two of us. Under the stairs is probably the best place.