In my day, women of about my age used 'dear' all the time, and meant it affectionately and with gratitude. I often say "Thank you dear" at the supermarket checkout for instance, but my more savvy friend told me the other day to stop doing it, as it's 'patronising' and could cause offence!! Well, I still 'patronise' merrily, and if people are so thick they don't see it as a goodwill expression, that's their fault not mine! Ridiculous!!