You have my deepest sympathy, Mick.

I watched my father weaken and die for about 6 months, back in 2006. We weren't very compatible people, and I can't honestly say whether he "lives on in me" or not...that's a mystery to me...but it was very sad watching him lose his strength in his final days. He had always figured himself to be strong and in control of everything, but he had to face losing all that.

Now my mother is going through the same process, losing her physical and mental powers, but she still tries to control everything (although she can't).

What do I fear? The time when these same things will happen to me (assuming I don't die in a car crash or something sudden like that). How far off is it? That's hard to say. I don't fear dying. I truly regard it as deliverance from the conditions of this life! But I do fear the final stages of getting there.