Here's my transcription from a video at YouTube:


THE OLD MAID AND THE BURGLAR
As recorded by Ernest Stoneman in 1928, Edison 52369 et al.

I will sing you a song of a burglar man who started to rob a house.
He peeped in at the window and in he crept, just as quietly as a mouse.

Then thinking about the money he'd get, as under the bed he lay,
At nine o'clock he saw a sight that made his hair turn gray.

At nine o'clock an old maid came in. "I am so tired," she said.
Then thinking ev'rything was well, she forgot to look under the bed.

She pulled out her teeth and her big false eye, the hair right off of her head.
That burglar man had twenty-one fits and he came from under the bed.

She did not holler nor scream at all. She stood as meek as a lamb.
She said, "O Lord, my prayer is answered! At last I've got me a man!

"I've waited for forty-one years or more. You're the only chance I will get.
I'll buckle onto you, old boy. I'll not lose you, you bet."

Then from a drawer a revolver she drew. To this burglar said:
"Young man, if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top o' your head."

He looked at her teeth and her big false eye. He found no way to scoot.
He looked at the old maid a-standing by, said, "Woman, for the Lord's sake, shoot!"


[Note: He uses the pronunciation "burg-a-lar" throughout, which somewhat improves the scansion, in my opinion.]