I received this dire warning this morning in an e-mail from a friend. The world is, indeed, fraught with all kinds of pitfalls!!

Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends "pets" because the term is insulting, leading academics claim. Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be re-branded as "companion animals" while owners should be known as "human carers," they insist. Even terms such as "wildlife" are dismissed as insulting to the animals concerned, who should instead be known as "free-living," the academics, including an Oxford professor, suggest.

The call comes from the editors of the Journal of Animal Ethics, a new academic publication devoted to the issue. Further ... Phrases such as "sly as a fox," "eat like a pig" or "drunk as a skunk" are all insulting to animals, they claim. "Raining cats and dogs" is also discouraged because it might lead the human companions to believe they're nuisances, and "quiet as a mouse" is considered an intimidating affront to the free-speech rights of what might otherwise be a more outspoken house mouse.

Be careful! You don't want your Yorkie to start biting your ankle!

Or worse still, get a nasty phone call from your hamster's attorney!

Don Firth