The following was sung by various characters at a celebration of Linus Pauling's first Nobel Prize, at Caltech, 3 December 1954 (long before the NSF):

Caltech's money comes from individuals not the state
A little from the Navy, maybe half but nothing great
It's really private enterprise that made the place so great
So make the Associates smile.

    Gather up a lot of money (3x)
    And watch Dr. DuBridge smile

Intellectual eminence won't get you very far
You need a research contract if you want to be a star
Forty-five percent for overhead will make you popular
And make Mr. George Green smile.

    Strive to get yourself a contract (3x)
    To make Mr. George Green smile.

From history of science, there a moral to be learned
Every chemist needs his patrons; filthy lucre can't be spurned
But don't forget that Galileo very nearly burned
So make those Associates smile.

    Strive to save department money (3x)
    And watch the Associates smile.

We turn out all the burners when we leave the lab at night
We close up all the windows and we turn out every light
The undenatured alcohol is safely out of sight
Just to make the Associates smile.

    Strive to save department money (3x)
    And watch Holmes Sturdivant smile.

To win a happy housewife, you must not pitch woo at me
To be a student here, I had to promise faithfully
To give my all for science and forsake felicity
And make those misogynists smile.

    Strive to rise in your profession (3x)
    And make Dean Lacey smile.

Experimental drudgery is now quite obsolete
I can sit here at my desk and place my head below my feet
And solve all nature's problems by an introspection neat
And make the academies smile.

    Theoretical creations
    Tennis balls can lead to inspiration (2x)
    And make the academies smile.

You needn't spend a lifetime doing chromatography
With my slick stochastic method and imagination free
The structure of the proteins is no mystery to me
I make those molecules smile.

    Theoretical creations
    Tinkertoys can lead to inspiration (2x)
    And make those molecules smile.

An Oscar for a movie star is easy to obtain
But to be a Nobel Laureate you need a mighty brain
When asked to give a lecture you must nod and not abstain
And make the audience smile.

    Make a lecture tour frequently (2x)
    Be sure to lecture eloquently
    And make your audience smile.

With Pauling as our chairman, life in Crellin is O.K.
Mistakes in our predictions do not cause us much dismay
From bond approximation we will never, never stray
And make Dr. Pauling smile.

    Make a first approximation
    Guess a first approximation
    Don't resort to calculation
    And make Dr. Pauling smile