I learned what I still consider one of the cleverest verses at the knee of my older cousin, an FP of George Heriot's Edinburgh, wham ne'er a school surpasses for bawdy songs and their bit verses. Any part of its phraseology that may not be quite English as she is ought to be spoke, does however reflect the way things are expressed in Scotia's genteel capital.
(Alba gu bràth!)

and in the next cage l and g we have the
POLAR BEAR!
The POLAR BEAR? Charles fucking Darwin! What the hell is that?
The polar bear, l and g, lives on an iceberg near the North Pole. On one side of the iceberg there is a Frenchman who keeps a private school and on the the side of the iceberg there is an Italian who keeps a private school. And all day long the polar bear skites back and forth on its arse between them keeping its privates cool.