I think if it is a marriage, then give it your all. But these guidelines you refer to us learning in the 2000s..does she/he know about them, agree with them, use them? You pretty much have to be playing with the same set of rules.

If she/he is always difficult, and there is no marriage or no children, then both of you should make an honest assessment and if she/he is not willing to hear any feedback, figure out if it is worth being in that kind of relationship. mg