Rod, I agree with you about the Clan Malcolm, I sailed twice on her, firstly as a cadet & then as 3rd Mate. I 'escaped the 'Rusty Bucket' but got landed with the King Charles! As for the Lampton Worm it's probably in the Mudcat data base, unless there's a MN parody of it out there somewhere it would not be included in this thread. Nice to hear from an ex-Clansman. Ron