whatever one of those is?

I'm not sure, but maybe Shimrod fits the bill? Which isn't to be too hard on the poor fellow; on the contrary, much respect etc. because in this day and age I might admire anyone who can still summon the indignation to believe in anything, just as long as it fits the bill, of course - fascists, homophobes, racists and sexists need not apply, likewise the religious who dream of their exclusive salvation which would have the rest of us condemned to an eternity of damnation; fecking pillocks the lot of them.