Here's my transcription from YouTube:


SOMEONE SPIKED THE PUNCH AT LENA'S WEDDING
As sung by "Yogi Yorgesson" (Harry Stewart)

1. Me and the little woman was as happy as could be.
We fin'lly married our daughter off when she was thirty-three.
She was married in our home, and things went quietly,
Till someone spiked the punch at Lena's wedding.

2. They was the cutest couple that our friends had ever seen.
Lena weighed one-eighty and the groom weighed one-sixteen.
He looked pale when they got hitched, but later he turned green,
'Cause someone spiked the punch at Lena's wedding.

3. After the kids was married, the crowd was dry and hot.
They all think a nice cool drink will really hit the spot.
I'm ashamed when I recall how plastered they all got.
Oh, some was sleeping; some got leaping; oh, they drank a lot!

SPOKEN: The whole darn bunch was whooping it up. The wedding turned into a brawl,
'Cause no one knew that our fruit-juice punch was spiked with pure alcohol.
Mrs. Olson, the head of the Ladies' Aid, she was loaded and sure having fun.
"Let's dance!" she yelled at the preacher, and she leaped up like a son-of-a-gun.
Pete Lonquist the undertaker, who don't smile at you till you're dead,
Suddenly jumped up on the table with our best lampshade on his head.
Then through the crowd in her wedding dress, blubb'ring and ready for fight,
Came Lena screaming, "Oh, Papa, my Ingvall is out like a light!"
And sure enough, on the davenport, with his hair full of rice and confetti,
Was Ingvall, the bridegroom, all stretched out as limp and as white as spaghetti.
When I felt his hand, it was cold and moist, and his forehead was colder and moister.
Then he opened one eye, which looked to me just like a big blue oyster.
Lena, she fold her muscular arms, and everyone there heard her yell:
"The car is out front and our wedding night we'll spend in some quiet motel!"
She took hold of her husband right by the neck, and where the seat of his pants hung slack.
Then Lena left on her honeymoon with her man riding piggyback.

4. The next day it was Sunday and the preacher had to wait,
'Cause some of the wedding guests arrived in church a little late,
And the preacher knew the reason for his full collection plate
Was that someone spiked the punch at Lena's wedding,
But we all had fun!