The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #139431 Message #3200364
Posted By: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
02-Aug-11 - 04:06 PM
Thread Name: BS: Let's write a truly bad piece of fiction
Subject: RE: BS: Let's write a truly bad piece of fiction
SCENE #2 (AFTERNOON)
SFX --SOUNDTRACK --'Dangerous Days' PRESENT DAY EXT. AERIAL VIEW --JOY"S BACK YARD
TITLES: " YEARS LATER"
Woman lounging, sunning, relaxing. JOY, mid 30's, blonde wearing a one piece black bathing suit, sunglasses, hair wrapped in towel. (At the time, Michelle Pfeiffer was slated for the part)
WIDER VIEW
Old truck on street, in distance, approaching house.
EXT. JOY"S FRONT DOOR
MICHAEL & SCOTT
SCOTT -- Tall thin, curly haired, somewhat of a 'professional inheritor'. Reserved.
Michael knocks ..waits .. Knocks again.
MICHAEL
They'd better be ho…..
The door opens. They are greeted by HEATHER, mid-teen, very cute, perfectly beautiful girl, long blonde hair, blue eyes. JOY"S daughter. Dead ringer for a younger version of JOY.
MICHAEL
Hi, we're here for the paint job.
HEATHER
Oh, wait, let me get my mom.
She turns, disappears. Scott and Michael are watching her closely.
SCOTT
Shit!! Did you see that?! What an 'Erector Set'!!
MICHAEL
Look, we're here to paint, so if you don't think you can keep at least one of your minds on - -
SCOTT
Don't worry, you know me better than - -
Door swings open. Joy appears wearing no make up, towel and sunglasses. Very covered up.
MICHAEL
Hello, my names is Michael, the painter. Your friend Jean sent me over to look at your house. I
believe she told --
JOY
Oh yes… My name is Joy, come on in.
MICHAEL
Yes Ma'am.
They enter the house.
INT. JOY"S HOUSE
MICHAEL
This is Scott, one of my helpers.
JOY
I had a painter before, but he was so slow and hardly spoke any English. He did the walls, but I
need to get the doors and trim finished.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Michael and Scott looking at work to be done, meanwhile taking lustful, but cautious notice of Heather.. (AD LIB)
BACK TO SCENE
MICHAEL
(While figuring the costs)
So, you want just the baseboards, door casings, and doors, right?
JOY
Right.
Heather walks by.
MICHAEL
I could do it for $575.
JOY
(Surprised)
Sure! Your price is very reasonable.
Heather walk by.
MICHAEL
No problem. This should take only two or three days anyway. When do you want us to start?
JOY
How about tomorrow, or the next day?
He jots down his number on a piece of paper.
MICHAEL
Fine. Here's my phone number.
JOY
That will be great! See you then!
He turns, opens door, Scott, then Michael exits.
EXT. FRONT OF JOY"S HOUSE
Heather giggling, calls from door as Scott and Michael leave.
HEATHER (O.S.)
(Giggle, Lilting voice)
G'Bye…..
Michael and Scott turn together, enter truck, and drive off.
INT. SCOTT'S TRUCK
While driving down the street, a few moments of thick silence, together at the same time:
MICHAEL & SCOTT
(Together, in unison))
Did you see - -
SCOTT
- -The …Daughter?!
MICHAEL
- - how ….little there is to paint?
They look at each other, and start laughing.
SCOTT
What a babe!! Don't tell me you didn't check her out!
MICHAEL
Sure, but she's a little young, don't you think ?
SCOTT
Well, maybe for you…..
MICHAEL
I'm NOT getting involved with her, even if she were older….or foxier!
SCOTT
Why not?
MICHAEL
As a man gets older, he begins to know what is good for him…..and so should his woman! - -
SCOTT
You could easily use having a woman around. Think of the kids…..
MICHAEL
Yeah, that's all I need….a mom for the kids who's about a year or two older than my duaghter!
SCOTT
(In a conniving tone)
You could always hit on the mom
MICHAEL
Gimme a break! Besides, I have too much work to do, not only that, did it ever occur to you that
she might already be married???
SCOTT
I doubt it. I didn't see a ring on her finger.
MICHAEL
Look! I'm not up for starting any sort of relationship with ANYONE, especially nowadays. Too
much work for so little return. This is just another paint job, and not the first one I've done,
when there is some fox in the house. Usually it's a bored, middle aged house wife, hangin'
around just waiting for you to hit on 'em! It's bullshit! It's all bullshit! L.A. is full of 'em. They
get together and encourage themselves to be single and bored. They just get older and more
bored, and boring….did I mention older? Next they get bitter, and blame it all on the all the men
they've had in their lives. It's all bullshit!!
SCOTT
O.K ..Okay Don't get pissed!
MICHAEL
Sometimes I just can't help it..Then guys like you, my friends, come along and wonder why I
don't go for them. All you do is invite their bitterness into your life. Then they spend years
playing games, testing you, to find out if you are going to be as big as an asshole, as their first
four or five ol' men, that they threw out. I wonder if it occurs to them, that THEY are the biggest
reason that all their men turned into assholes!
SCOTT
Yeah, but I know some ladies that are alright, and it was the guys they married that were the
assholes.
MICHAEL
Then why marry them in the first place?! I'm not saying that it's the woman's fault, necessarily,
Nor the man's, that pisses me off ….. What gives me the ass is STUPIDITY, no matter what sex
it comes through! …and then I might add, that YOU, thinking about getting strung out on some
Cute teenage chippy-fox, just because she's so fuckin' cute, is part of that STUPIDITY of which
I speak!
SCOTT
(Acquiescing )
OK…..Shit, don't get pissed! Don't forget, I offered to help you for nothing.
MICHAEL
I just want to make sure that you and your infatuation with the customer's daughter don't get
in the way of the job getting done….JEEZE!!
INT. MICHAEL'S STUDIO
Michael and Scott enter. Richaed sitting on stool, playing bass.
RICHARD: Tall, loud, somewhat jaded, being divorced, and having custody of his two children , but very intelligent and articulate, from New Jersey, and a serious student of music. Speaks with Jersey accent.
RICHARD
So, how'd it go?
MICHAEL
OK, We got it.
RICHARD
GOOD! Every buck counts!
MICHAEL
I'm going into the house to check on the kids and grab a bite. Back in a bit.
Michael exits. Just then Richard looks up at Scott.
RICHARD
So, how much is he going to charge?
SCOTT
(Disgruntled)
About five seventy five, or something like that.
RICHARD
That's not much!
SCOTT
I know. I don't even know why he's wasting his time.
RICHARD
You seemed bummed out.
SCOTT
Yeah.
RICHARD
What's wrong?
SCOTT
Aw …. It's Michael ..He's been raggin' on me.
RICHARD
How come?
SCOTT
I don't know. We go over to this house and meet this lady, who's got this daughter, a mega-fox,
and ever since, he's been chewin' my ass, just because I was attracted to her.
RICHARD
(laughs)
Well, he's probably right, you know.
SCOTT
(thoughtfully)
Yeah, I suppose so.
RICHARD
Don't let it get you down, besides you know Michael. He's got so much to do all the time. The
thought of re-directing his time and energy into chicks probably conjures up nothing but
hassle! He's probably freaked out that you're going to get hooked onto her daughter in the
middle of a project, and waste time.
SCOTT
You think that was bad? You should have heard him after I brought it up to him, that maybe HE
should consider hooking up with a woman!
RICHARD
Can you blame him?? He's been through a lot, and still crankin'. He's cautious about women,
And doesn't want them hangin' around for nothing'.
SCOTT
I thought it was something else.
RICHARD
Hard to understand him, ever since he had this experience quite a few years ago.
SCOTT
Bad relationship?
RICHARD
He says it's a dimensional thing….spiritual or mystical vision thing…I don't know…but no
matter what he goes though, he seems to always land on his feey. His 'luck' is uncanny. He's
been different, ever since.
Just then Michael enters the studio.
MICHAEL
Am I interrupting something?
RICHARD
(changes tone)
No. Get your guitar.
MICHAEL
Oh, OK…Why don't we work on that song we started last week.
As he walks across the room, to his guitar stand….
MICHAEL
Just got off the phone with Joy,..lady with the paint job…She's leaving in the morning…leaving
me a key in the flower pot, by her front door…..
SCOTT
(Somewhat timidly)
I was thinking' about what you said earlier..about Heather, the daughter..I think you might be
right…I shouldn't be over there, I'd probably screw things up.
MICHAEL
You don't have to be…Don't worry about it.
SCOTT
Yeah, and I'm going on that trip anyway. It's not that I don't want to work --
MICHAEL
I said 'Don't worry about it'. It's not a big job that I can't handle.
EXT. JOY'S HOUSE --MORNING
Old pick-up paint truck pulling into driveway.
Michael on porch reaching into hanging flower pot ...finds key.
INT. JOY'S HOUSE
SERIES OF SHOTS
#1 Michael looking around to make sure nobody is there.
#2 Stirring paint in can.
#3Michael painting
#4Breaks for lunch.
LATE IN AFTERNNON :
#5 Michael looking tired, begins packing up.
NEXT DAY : MORNING:
#6 Michael driving up Joy's street, passes Joy who is driving and old oxidized BMW. He waves.
very quick …. He does not get a good look at her, nor tries. (NOTE: Up to this point, he never has really
seen her.)
#7 Michael on Joy's porch, searches for key, gets key, enters front door.
INT. JOY"S HOUSE
#8 Sees note on table, picks it up, and reads it.
NOTE (Voice over: Joy's voice)
Please keep this key with you. (signed) "Joy"
Michael pulls pen from pocket, writes "O.K", the chuckles.
Michael painting. …STOPS…He looks around, as if he thought he hears something…he stares a moment, shrugs it off….repeats….
MICHAEL
Get back to work, FOOL!
Later, pouring paint in a bucket…STOPS…as if an unseen voice is calling him. He appears slightly dazed. Shakes his head, as if to shake himself out of it, and returns to working.
AFTERNOON:
INT. JOY'S SERVICE PORCH
Michael painting baseboards
SFX -- (O.S.) -- Front door opens then shuts. Sounds of high heeled footsteps hurriedly crossing room.
He peers around corner, sees back of Joy disappearing into hallway.. Returns to painting.
JOY (O.S.)
Looks good, I've got to leave…I'm in a hurry… lock up .
MICHAEL
(monotone)
O-KA-A-A-A-Y
JOY (O.S.)
(slight lilt in voice)
Thank you-u-u-
SFX --(O.S.) -- Front door shutting..footsteps leaving…car starting…pulling out, leaving.
INT. JOY'S LIVING ROOM
He slowly walks in, partially in a daze, head turns, slowly, as if trying to identify something unseen that he is 'hearing'….. snaps out of it.
SFX --(O.S.) -- Joy's car pulling up into driveway..
He snaps to, and hurries to the service porch, as if he was working the whole time.
SFX --(O.S.) -- Front dorr opening briskly…footsteps…
JOY (O.S.)
I forgot something
MICHAEL
(under his breath)
Ding-bat.
Michael stands up ..rounds the corner of the doorway, only to see the back of a neatly dressed Joy, exiting the front door……He goes into a light daze…snaps out of it…gathers his tools…leaves.
GfS