The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #139431   Message #3200364
Posted By: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
02-Aug-11 - 04:06 PM
Thread Name: BS: Let's write a truly bad piece of fiction
Subject: RE: BS: Let's write a truly bad piece of fiction
SCENE #2                                                                                                                                              (AFTERNOON)      
SFX --SOUNDTRACK --'Dangerous Days'                                                                                    PRESENT DAY                      EXT. AERIAL VIEW --JOY"S BACK YARD

TITLES:   " YEARS LATER"

Woman lounging, sunning, relaxing. JOY, mid 30's, blonde wearing a one piece black bathing suit, sunglasses, hair wrapped in towel.                      (At the time, Michelle Pfeiffer was slated for the part)

WIDER VIEW
Old truck on street, in distance, approaching house.

EXT. JOY"S FRONT DOOR

MICHAEL & SCOTT

SCOTT -- Tall thin, curly haired, somewhat of a 'professional inheritor'. Reserved.

Michael knocks ..waits .. Knocks again.

                                 MICHAEL
               They'd better be ho…..

The door opens. They are greeted by HEATHER, mid-teen, very cute, perfectly beautiful girl, long blonde hair, blue eyes. JOY"S daughter. Dead ringer for a younger version of JOY.
                              
                               MICHAEL
               Hi, we're here for the paint job.

                               HEATHER
             Oh, wait, let me get my mom.

She turns, disappears. Scott and Michael are watching her closely.

                                 SCOTT
             Shit!! Did you see that?! What an 'Erector Set'!!

                                 MICHAEL
            Look, we're here to paint, so if you don't think you can keep at least one of your minds on - -

                                 SCOTT
            Don't worry, you know me better than - -

Door swings open. Joy appears wearing no make up, towel and sunglasses. Very covered up.

                                  MICHAEL
            Hello, my names is Michael, the painter. Your friend Jean sent me over to look at your house. I
            believe she told --

                                  JOY
            Oh yes… My name is Joy, come on in.

                                  MICHAEL
            Yes Ma'am.
They enter the house.

INT. JOY"S HOUSE

                                  MICHAEL                           
                This is Scott, one of my helpers.

                                  JOY
                I had a painter before, but he was so slow and hardly spoke any English. He did the walls, but I
                need to get the doors and trim finished.

SERIES OF SHOTS

Michael and Scott looking at work to be done, meanwhile taking lustful, but cautious notice of Heather..   (AD LIB)

BACK TO SCENE

                                  MICHAEL
                     (While figuring the costs)
                So, you want just the baseboards, door casings, and doors, right?

                                  JOY
                Right.

Heather walks by.

                                  MICHAEL
                I could do it for $575.

                                 JOY
                         (Surprised)
                Sure! Your price is very reasonable.

Heather walk by.

                                  MICHAEL
                No problem. This should take only two or three days anyway. When do you want us to start?

                                    JOY
                How about tomorrow, or the next day?

He jots down his number on a piece of paper.

                                  MICHAEL
                   Fine. Here's my phone number.

                                  JOY
                   That will be great! See you then!

He turns, opens door, Scott, then Michael exits.

EXT. FRONT OF JOY"S HOUSE
Heather giggling, calls from door as Scott and Michael leave.
                                  HEATHER   (O.S.)
                              (Giggle, Lilting voice)
                   G'Bye…..

Michael and Scott turn together, enter truck, and drive off.

INT. SCOTT'S TRUCK

While driving down the street, a few moments of thick silence, together at the same time:

                                  MICHAEL & SCOTT
                              (Together, in unison))
                  Did you see - -

                                  SCOTT
                  - -The …Daughter?!

                                  MICHAEL
                  - - how ….little there is to paint?

They look at each other, and start laughing.

                                  SCOTT
                  What a babe!! Don't tell me you didn't check her out!

                                  MICHAEL
                  Sure, but she's a little young, don't you think ?

                                  SCOTT
                  Well, maybe for you…..

                                  MICHAEL
                  I'm NOT getting involved with her, even if she were older….or foxier!

                                  SCOTT
                  Why not?

                                  MICHAEL
                  As a man gets older, he begins to know what is good for him…..and so should his woman! - -

                                  SCOTT
                You could easily use having a woman around. Think of the kids…..

                                  MICHAEL
                Yeah, that's all I need….a mom for the kids who's about a year or two older than my duaghter!

                                  SCOTT
                         (In a conniving tone)
                  You could always hit on the mom

                                  MICHAEL
                  Gimme a break! Besides, I have too much work to do, not only that, did it ever occur to you that
                  she might already be married???

                                  SCOTT
                     I doubt it. I didn't see a ring on her finger.

                                  MICHAEL
                     Look! I'm not up for starting any sort of relationship with ANYONE, especially nowadays. Too
                     much work for so little return. This is just another paint job, and not the first one I've done,
                     when there is some fox in the house. Usually it's a bored, middle aged house wife, hangin'
                     around just waiting for you to hit on 'em! It's bullshit! It's all bullshit! L.A. is full of 'em. They
                     get together and encourage themselves to be single and bored. They just get older and more
                     bored, and boring….did I mention older? Next they get bitter, and blame it all on the all the men
                     they've had in their lives. It's all bullshit!!

                                  SCOTT
                     O.K ..Okay Don't get pissed!

                                  MICHAEL
                     Sometimes I just can't help it..Then guys like you, my friends, come along and wonder why I
                     don't go for them. All you do is invite their bitterness into your life. Then they spend years
                     playing games, testing you, to find out if you are going to be as big as an asshole, as their first
                     four or five ol' men, that they threw out. I wonder if it occurs to them, that THEY are the biggest
                     reason that all their men turned into assholes!

                                  SCOTT
                     Yeah, but I know some ladies that are alright, and it was the guys they married that were the
                     assholes.

                                  MICHAEL
                   Then why marry them in the first place?! I'm not saying that it's the woman's fault, necessarily,
                     Nor the man's, that pisses me off ….. What gives me the ass is STUPIDITY, no matter what sex
                     it comes through! …and then I might add, that YOU, thinking about getting strung out on some
                     Cute teenage chippy-fox, just because she's so fuckin' cute, is part of that STUPIDITY of which
                     I speak!

                                  SCOTT
                              (Acquiescing )
                     OK…..Shit, don't get pissed! Don't forget, I offered to help you for nothing.

                                  MICHAEL
                   I just want to make sure that you and your infatuation with the customer's daughter don't get
                   in the way of the job getting done….JEEZE!!

INT. MICHAEL'S STUDIO
Michael and Scott enter. Richaed sitting on stool, playing bass.

RICHARD: Tall, loud, somewhat jaded, being divorced, and having custody of his two children , but very intelligent and articulate, from New Jersey, and a serious student of music. Speaks with Jersey accent.

                                  RICHARD
                   So, how'd it go?

                                  MICHAEL
                   OK, We got it.

                              
                                     RICHARD
                     GOOD! Every buck counts!

                                     MICHAEL
                     I'm going into the house to check on the kids and grab a bite. Back in a bit.

Michael exits. Just then Richard looks up at Scott.

                                     RICHARD
                     So, how much is he going to charge?

                                     SCOTT
                           (Disgruntled)
                   About five seventy five, or something like that.

                                     RICHARD
                   That's not much!

                                     SCOTT
                   I know. I don't even know why he's wasting his time.

                                     RICHARD
                   You seemed bummed out.

                                     SCOTT
                   Yeah.

                                     RICHARD
                   What's wrong?

                                     SCOTT
                   Aw …. It's Michael ..He's been raggin' on me.

                                    RICHARD
                   How come?

                                    SCOTT
                   I don't know. We go over to this house and meet this lady, who's got this daughter, a mega-fox,
                   and ever since, he's been chewin' my ass, just because I was attracted to her.

                                    RICHARD
                                     (laughs)
                   Well, he's probably right, you know.
                                    
                                    SCOTT
                               (thoughtfully)
                     Yeah, I suppose so.

                                    RICHARD
                      Don't let it get you down, besides you know Michael. He's got so much to do all the time. The
                      thought of re-directing his time and energy into chicks probably conjures up nothing but
                      hassle! He's probably freaked out that you're going to get hooked onto her daughter in the
                      middle of a project, and waste time.

                                    SCOTT
                You think that was bad? You should have heard him after I brought it up to him, that maybe HE
                should consider hooking up with a woman!

                                    RICHARD
                  Can you blame him?? He's been through a lot, and still crankin'. He's cautious about women,
                  And doesn't want them hangin' around for nothing'.

                                    SCOTT
                   I thought it was something else.

                                    RICHARD
                   Hard to understand him, ever since he had this experience quite a few years ago.

                                    SCOTT
                   Bad relationship?

                                    RICHARD
                   He says it's a dimensional thing….spiritual or mystical vision thing…I don't know…but no
                   matter what he goes though, he seems to always land on his feey. His 'luck' is uncanny. He's
                   been different, ever since.

Just then Michael enters the studio.

                                    MICHAEL
                   Am I interrupting something?

                                    RICHARD
                               (changes tone)
                   No. Get your guitar.

                                    MICHAEL
                   Oh, OK…Why don't we work on that song we started last week.

As he walks across the room, to his guitar stand….

                                     MICHAEL                                 
                     Just got off the phone with Joy,..lady with the paint job…She's leaving in the morning…leaving
                     me a key in the flower pot, by her front door…..

                                    SCOTT
                            (Somewhat timidly)
                     I was thinking' about what you said earlier..about Heather, the daughter..I think you might be
                     right…I shouldn't be over there, I'd probably screw things up.   

                                    MICHAEL
                     You don't have to be…Don't worry about it.

                                     SCOTT
                      Yeah, and I'm going on that trip anyway. It's not that I don't want to work --

                                     MICHAEL
                      I said 'Don't worry about it'. It's not a big job that I can't handle.   

EXT. JOY'S HOUSE --MORNING

Old pick-up paint truck pulling into driveway.
Michael on porch reaching into hanging flower pot ...finds key.


INT. JOY'S HOUSE

SERIES OF SHOTS

#1 Michael looking around to make sure nobody is there.   
#2 Stirring paint in can.
#3Michael painting
#4Breaks for lunch.

LATE IN AFTERNNON :

#5 Michael looking tired, begins packing up.

NEXT DAY : MORNING:         

#6 Michael driving up Joy's street, passes Joy who is driving and old oxidized BMW. He waves.
    very quick …. He does not get a good look at her, nor tries. (NOTE: Up to this point, he never has really
    seen her.)
#7 Michael on Joy's porch, searches for key, gets key, enters front door.

INT. JOY"S HOUSE

#8 Sees note on table, picks it up, and reads it.

                                    NOTE (Voice over: Joy's voice)
                      Please keep this key with you. (signed) "Joy"

Michael pulls pen from pocket, writes "O.K", the chuckles.

Michael painting. …STOPS…He looks around, as if he thought he hears something…he stares a moment, shrugs it off….repeats….

                                    MICHAEL
                      Get back to work, FOOL!

Later, pouring paint in a bucket…STOPS…as if an unseen voice is calling him. He appears slightly dazed. Shakes his head, as if to shake himself out of it, and returns to working.

AFTERNOON:

INT. JOY'S SERVICE PORCH

Michael painting baseboards
SFX -- (O.S.) -- Front door opens then shuts. Sounds of high heeled footsteps hurriedly crossing room.

He peers around corner, sees back of Joy disappearing into hallway.. Returns to painting.


                                     JOY (O.S.)               
                  Looks good, I've got to leave…I'm in a hurry… lock up .

                                    MICHAEL
                                  (monotone)
                  O-KA-A-A-A-Y

                                     JOY (O.S.)               
                               (slight lilt in voice)
                  Thank you-u-u-

SFX --(O.S.) -- Front door shutting..footsteps leaving…car starting…pulling out, leaving.

INT. JOY'S LIVING ROOM

He slowly walks in, partially in a daze, head turns, slowly, as if trying to identify something unseen that he is 'hearing'….. snaps out of it.

SFX --(O.S.) -- Joy's car pulling up into driveway..

He snaps to, and hurries to the service porch, as if he was working the whole time.

SFX --(O.S.) -- Front dorr opening briskly…footsteps…

                                     JOY (O.S.)
                   I forgot something

                                     MICHAEL
                               (under his breath)
                   Ding-bat.

Michael stands up ..rounds the corner of the doorway, only to see the back of a neatly dressed Joy, exiting the front door……He goes into a light daze…snaps out of it…gathers his tools…leaves.

GfS