'Ere we go again (yawwn!).

Some people have nowt better to do than moan!! :O)

Sorry to be a disappointment, but I leave songwriting to them wot can do it!

However:

Mah laigs is short and stumpy
You oughta hear the sound
As I walk, I drag my rumpy
Chuff-a-chuff along the ground
Mah friends all walk much quicker
Coz their laigs are oh, so lawng
Ah hate to hear them snicker
Which is why ah sing this sawng...

Cain't do the accent, either!

Reckon yer'd 'ave a proper job on tryin' fer't avva do at mine, tha'nose!

At least I tried!! ;O)