Jake had quite an imagination, for circling the bowl as he looked were not tiger sharks but the remains of two tacos and an egg salad sandwich from the day before.

His phone rang.

"Yeah."
"Oh Hi Larry. Thanks for calling me back." Larry the Law Dawg had been on retainer for Jake's family for years.
"Yeah, I'm fine. But I'm strapped for cash. Gotta pay off the flood damage to my penthouse and my sister took my last 5 grand out of the bank and gave it to some chimp."
"You say legally I can't touch him? Why not?"
"No. he doesn't have an owner."
"So he is not subject to the laws of the state of Illinois."
"Look I know this restaurant. They sell the meat of endangered animals for big bucks."
"Yeah, that's the one. Panda Expressly."
"I'll bet they would give me a fortune for some talking chimp meat."
"Would it be illegal to hunt him."
"Only in his natural range eh?"
"So under the el train would be fine?"
"As long as someone doesn't own him. OK, I'll check on that."
"Thanks Larry! Give my love to the family."
"I will, good luck and God Bless you to."

He knew it wasn't foolproof. But Jake had the stirrings of a plan.