CUT YOURSELF A PIECE OF CAKE (AND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME)
Words and music by Billy James
New York: Leo. Feist, Inc., ©1923.
As sung by Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys)

My friend Jonesie he got married just the other night.
I hear he's a man who has an awful appetite.
Well, his wife went to cooking school but only learned to bake.
He must kick about his meals. She says, "John, for goodness' sake,
Just cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.
I'm sorry that I can't cook steak, but cake is so high-tone.
You'll get corns and bunions
From eating Spanish onions,
So cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home."

Once a week at Jonesie's house the poker players meet.
After playing cards I'll bet that they all want to eat.
"One more deal and then we'll eat." they hear his wifie say.
They expect a lovely spread but almost pass away
When she says, "Cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.
I'm sorry that I can't cook steak, but cake is so high-tone.
Ev'ry social leader
Today is a cake-eater,
So cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.

"In summer you should diet,
So start in now and try it.
Just cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.

Jones came home the other night and said, "I've lost my job.
He said he couldn't pay the rent unless some bank he'd rob.
The landlord said he'd call that night because the rent was due.
Jonesie's wife said, "I'll fix him!" She knew what to do.
She told him, "Cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.
I'm sorry that I can't cook steak, but cake is so high-tone.
You swore by stars above, dear,
That you could live on love, dear,
So cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.

"From eating fried calf's liver,
A man jumped in the river,
So cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home.
There's apple cake and orange cake
And angel cake and choc'late cake
And raisin cake and nutty cake,
So cut yourself a piece of cake and make yourself at home."