HOKEY POKEY DIDDLE DEE RUM
Words & music by Cliff Hess and Wendell Hall.
Chicago: Forster Music Pub., ©1925
As sung by Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys), 1926.

Hokey pokey diddle dee rum.
Derby, that's where we came from.
It's a town way down in Tennessee.
Some folks think it's mighty slow.
Still it has its push and go,
And it's plenty fast enough for me.

There was a man in Derby town as strong as any ox.
They say the reason was because he'd never change his—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, he never changed his mind.
He said, "I'm strong because I'm always drinking pickle brine."

The folks in Derby have their freedom, though it may sound queer.
A man can step in anywhere and get a glass of—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, perhaps you think I lie,
But every man in Derby has a twinkle in his eye.

We have a dentist in our town for whom I'd like to vouch.
When he extracts your tooth, why, all you do is holler—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, which proves what I have said:
The only painless dentist is a dentist who is dead.

I kicked a little dog one day; you should have heard him wail.
Where did I kick him, sir, you say? Oh, thereby hangs a—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, oh, thereby hangs a tale.
I kicked him without conscience and I kicked him without fail.

Hokey pokey diddle dee rum.
As a town that makes things hum,
Derby takes the cookie every time.
Talk about your money's worth!
There's no other place on earth
You can have as much fun on a dime.

The circus came to Derby and I saw the old giraffe,
And when I saw the monkeys, why, it really made me—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, I laughed, I tell you, friend,
To see the dog-gone elephant with a tail upon each end.

We have a dog named Michael and he loves to bark at night,
But I am not afraid because a barking dog won't—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, I mean he wouldn't snap.
Why, every time he wags his tail, he gives himself a slap.

—Say, Bill, you know one thing—it appears to me that this song has a lot of words to it.
—I don't mind that, Ernie.
—No?
—Say Ernie, do you know I can sing two different voices, tenor and bass?
—Oh, Bill, you can't sing bass.
—Yes, I can sing bass, any time I want to. Any time I want to! In fact, do you want to hear me sing?
—Yeah, go ahead, Bill.
—I don't want to, Ernie.
—Well, let's sing these other thousand choruses.
—All right.

In Derby our police force says he never goes to bed,
So there's no fear of bandits hitting you upon the—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, which means in accents wild,
When you are held up, all you yell is "Fireman, save my child!"

There was a hen in Derby town that had a wooden leg.
One day we fed her sawdust and she laid a wooden—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, and so is your old man.
I never eat tomatoes till I first remove the can.

The boy stood on the burning deck when all but he had fled.
A seagull laid a hard-boiled egg and dropped it on his—
Hokey pokey diddle dee rum, with whiffletrees and sand.
Oh, Mama, Johnny started singing "Ain't the gravy grand!"