Texas-based newspaper columnist Molly Ivins (1944-2007) gave George W. Bush a run for his money when Bush was Texas Governor, 1995-2000. Looks like she also did a good job on Rick Perry, who has been Governor of Texas since Bush resigned in December, 2000. Among other names, Ivins called Perry "The Coiffure." Too bad Molly Ivins died before Perry decided to run for President.


On August 13, the Sacramento Bee published a collection of column excerpts titled Molly Ivins Can't Say That About Rick Perry, Can She?. The whole article is terrific, but the best is the last section:

June 24, 2001
First, we Texans would like to salute the only governor we've got, Rick "Goodhair" Perry, the Ken Doll, for vetoing the bill to outlaw executing the mentally retarded.
We are Texas Proud.
Such a brilliant decision – not only is Texas now globally recognized for barbaric cruelty, but a strong majority of Texans themselves (73 percent) would prefer not to off the retarded.
Gov. Goodhair's decision – in the face of popular opinion, the Supreme Court and George W. Bush's recent conversion on this subject – is a testament to his strength of character.
Or something.
His Perryness announced, anent the veto, that Texas does not execute the retarded. I beg your pardon, Governor. Johnny Paul Penry, now on Death Row for a heart-breaking murder and the subject of two Supreme Court decisions, has an IQ between 51 and 60, believes in Santa Claus and likes coloring books.
And that's not counting the other six we know about for sure since 1990.

Read more: http://www.sacbee.com/2011/08/13/3834794/molly-cant-say-that-about-rick.html#ixzz1VsUWGabY.

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Mother Jones Magazine also has a collection of Ivins excerpts about Perry. Here's the one I like best:

June 18, 2001
Bush was replaced by his exceedingly Lite Guv Rick Perry, who has really good hair. Governor Goodhair, or the Ken Doll (see, all Texans use nicknames—it's not that odd), is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But the chair of a major House committee says, "Goodhair is much more engaged as governor than Bush was." As the refrain of the country song goes, "O Please, Dear God, Not Another One."

Maybe we need a presidential candidate like Rick Perry. He would give the humorists and cartoonists great material. Heaven forbid that he should be elected President, though.


-Joe-