PATTER: —Say, Ernie, you have to be a doctor in this record. —All right, Bill. —Say, doc! —What is it, Bill? —Do you think I'll live to be a hundred years old? —Well, I don't know. Let me see, do you smoke? —No. —Do you drink? —No. —Do you stay out late at night? —No, sir. —Do you run around with the flappers? —I should say not! —Well, what in the world do you want to live to be a hundred years old for? —Well, anyway, there's something wrong with me. —Well, there must be if you've come to me. —Well, there will be if I pay you. —Do you mean that you won't pay me? —Well, how much do I owe you, doc? —Well now, let me see. You owe me for four visits already, and this makes five. —Well, put it all on one bill and I'll disappoint you in a lump. —Ha-ha-ha...! Come, Bill. Let's get into the song. All right, Dave.
VERSE 1: —Oh, tell me tell me, doctor, what can be wrong with me? —Say, have you got a headache or water on the knee? —Well, someone said I'm full of prunes; that's why I'm sad and blue. —Say, here's the only remedy. —Please tell me what to do.
CHORUS 1: —Why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay? —I don't know. I'll get myself a Sunkist maiden. —And I'll bet you'll like her orange aidin'. Oh, the fruit of the old apple tree Is a lot of applesauce today. —Say, why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay?
PATTER: —Say, Bill, you know my father's doing very well since his operation. —Say, Ernie, what did the surgeon do when he operated on your father? —Well there must be some catch in this. What does the surgeon do when he operates on my father? —Sews your old man! —Ha-ha-ha...!
VERSE 2: —Oh, tell me tell me, doctor, what is this pain right here? —If you had waited one day more, you would have died, I fear. —Well, is the case a chronic one? I'd love to know. Oh gee! —I'll write a nice prescription, sir. —Oh, doctor, let me see!
CHORUS 2: —Why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay? —You know my sweetie's very fond of fruities. —Well, go buy a box of Sunkist beauties. —You can go there and eat them, you see. It's a great investment any day. —Say, why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay?
CHORUS 1: Why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay? Go get yourself a Sunkist maiden. I'll bet you'll like her orange aidin'. Oh, the fruit of the old apple tree Is a lot of applesauce today. Say, why aren't yez eatin' more oranges from Cal-i-for-ni-ay?