Forgot to mention: My folks also tend to use Jotto when things are getting too group-y for some people - just when all my sisters, their kids, our mom, and the one leftover husband are beginning to get on each other's nerves, one nibling and I will go over into a corner somewhere and play Jotto until sanity is resumed or more food is served. All you need is pen and paper (or not even, if you do 3-letter words).

Other distractions (*BG*) include maybe geting one person to pitch a total fit about something so that you can all focus on THAT instead. Highly dysfunctional, not to mention way too entertaining for the inlaws...

No, that was not a serious suggestion. Just trying to lighten you up a little, CarolC, don't be offended - my personal tragedy didn't happen around $mas, it's just that then is when that big gaping hole in the family is made so much more obvious. So although I can't relate directly, I can sympathize. And try to make you smile. Forgive me if I offend instead.