My transcription from the recording at YouTube:


SO I TOOK THE FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
Words, Jack Meskill. Music, Albert Gumble.
New York: Jerome H. Remick & Co., ©1923.
As sung by Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys)

VERSE 1: —Fifty thousand dollars surely is quite a lot.
—Yes, I'll say it's a lot.
Fifty more than you've got.
—I told my rich uncle I could use it someday.
—You ...(?) the old guy passed away.

CHORUS 1: —So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought I'd have a good time with the roll.
—So you took the fifty thousand dollars,
And your good time was a dollar Ingersoll.
—I wanted life insurance; the payments were not high.
—Because you looked so healthy, they thought you'd never die.
—So I took the fifty thousand dollars,
And went and bought a cuckoo for the clock.

CHORUS 2: So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought I'd take a trip to Montreal.
—So you took the fifty thousand dollars,
And didn't go to Montreal at all.
—One day I met a lady so ...(?)
—I posed her just one dollar, a kiss with you she'd share.
—So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
Oh, gee! Oh, gosh! Oh, golly! I'm in love!

VERSE 2: There are many diff'rent ways ...(?) spending dough,
—And I guess that you know
Fifty thousand or so.
—No doubt uncle left it just for some rainy day.
—But you got rash with all that cash and let it drain away.

CHORUS 3: —So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought that I'd buy something for my home.
—So you took the fifty thousand dollars,
And bought a brush to have a brush and comb.
—My wife and I went shopping to buy a costly gem.
—You jumped into a taxi, drove to the five and ten.
—So I took the fifty thousand dollars,
Then a hundred million others just like me.

CHORUS 4: So we took the fifty thousand dollars.
We thought that we would like to study Greek.
So we took the fifty thousand dollars,
And learned to sing "Bananas" in a week.
—We told the phonograph company they'd have to raise our pay.
—They admitted we worked better, and raised it right away.
So we took the dollar and a quarter.
We're better men than you are, Gunga Din.

*
I haven't seen the sheet music, but I think it's a safe bet that this recording sticks closer to it than Jones & Hare did. You can hear it at Robert's Old Schmaltz Archives:

SO I TOOK THE FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
As sung by Robert Denning (M. J. O'Connell) on Edison Record 9262.

VERSE 1: Fifty thousand dollars, gee, it is a whole lot.
Though you've got it or not,
Still it is a whole lot.
I told my rich uncle I would use it someday,
So just to be a pal to me, he went and passed away.

CHORUS 1: So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought I'd make a big splash with that roll.
So I took the fifty thousand dollars
And bought myself a brand-new Ingersoll.
I wanted life insurance; the payments were not high.
Because I looked so healthy, they said I'd never die,
So I took the fifty thousand dollars
And went and bought myself a piece of cake.

VERSE 2: There are many ways for you to spend all your dough,
And I guess that I know
Fifty thousand or so.
No doubt Uncle left it just for some rainy day,
But I got rash with all that cash and let it drain away.

CHORUS 2: So I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought I'd take a trip to Montreal.
So I took the fifty thousand dollars,
And didn't go to Montreal at all.
I met a poor gold digger; her feet were almost bare.
She said she needed shoesies; her toesies didn't care.
So I took the fifty thousand dollars
And went and bought a cuckoo for the clock.

VERSE 3: There's a politician down in our neighborhood.
He's done ev'ryone good,
Ev'ryone that he could.
Leads the life of Riley, has his own motorcar,
But he feels bad because he's had to buy his own cigars.

CHORUS 3: I took the fifty thousand dollars.
It was a lot to spend on cigarettes.
Yes, I took the fifty thousand dollars,
But think of all coupons I could get.
He said, "Get me elected; you may spend all your cash,
But after I'm elected, I'll make sure you get hash."
So I took the fifty thousand dollars
And bought the subway just to get a seat.

CHORUS 4: Yes, I took the fifty thousand dollars.
I thought that I would like to study Greek.
Yes, I took the fifty thousand dollars
And learned to sing "Bananas" in a week.
I went to buy an auto; you know it's quite the fad.
The clerk showed me a pink one; it didn't look so bad,
So I took the fifty thousand dollars
And bought Detroit just to get a Ford.