You can see the sheet music at the Indiana Historical Society web site. (Click for a PDF.) Jones & Hare's recording can be heard on Spotify.


MY CUTEY'S DUE AT TWO-TO-TWO TO-DAY
Words and music by Leo Robin, Albert Von Tilzer, and Irving Bibo.
New York: Bibo, Bloedon, & Lang, ©1926.

I. Lyrics as given in the sheet music:

VERSE 1. Hey there, taxi, do your stuff.
I can't get there fast enough.
Take me to that train from way out west.
I'm just jumping in my shoes
'Cause there ain't no time to lose.
Got a date, one-fifty-eight, with the one that I love best.

CHORUS 1: My cutey's due at two-to-two.
She's coming through on a big choo-choo.
She's been away for months,
But I haven't cheated once.
Stayed home nights, didn't dance,
Wasn't taking any chance,
Didn't flirt, and though it hurt,
I just couldn't do my cutey dirt.
My days were blue, my nights were black,
But I just knew that she'd come back,
For I love her and she loves me and say,
Don't think there ain't no Santa Claus.
I know darn well there is because
My cutey's due at two-to-two today.

VERSE 2. No one knows how glad I am
Since I got that telegram,
Sweeter than a message from above.
Seems just like a century
Since she's been away from me,
But you bet I'm gonna get what I've kept on dreaming of.

CHORUS 2: My cutey's due at two-to-two.
She's coming through on a big choo-choo.
She's been away for months,
But I haven't cheated once.
She's very short, five foot two.
She's got bowlegs, cross-eyed too,
A girl you wouldn't think much of,
But oh, by gosh, how she can love.
My days were blue; my nights were black,
But I just knew that she'd come back,
For I love her and she loves me and say,
And when I feel her lips on mine,
I won't let go 'til half past nine.
My cutey's due at two-to-two today.

Tonight I'll disconnect my phone,
Because I want to be alone.
My cutey's due at two-to-two today.


II. Lyrics as sung by Billy Jones & Ernest Hare (The Happiness Boys):

VERSE 1: —Listen, Ernie, I feel gay.
—Why, you're excited, I must say.
—I'm gonna meet that train from way out west.
—Way out west? —Uh-huh. —Well, what's the big idea, old boy,
Of this nervous, sniffin' joy?
—I got a date, one fifty-eight, with the one that I love best.

CHORUS 1: —I know; your cutey's due at two-to-two.
—She's comin' through on a big choo-choo.
—She's been away for months,
—And I haven't cheated once.
—You stayed home nights. —I didn't dance.
—You wasn't takin' any chance.
—I didn't flirt. —Well, I bet that hurt.
—I just couldn't do my cutey dirt.
—Your days were blue. —My nights were black.
—But soon you'll have your cutey back.
—'Cause I love her and she loves me, and, say,
—And when you press her lips divine,
—I won't let go till half-past nine.
—My cutey's due at two-to-two today.

VERSE 2: —No one knows how glad I am.
—Well, I saw that telegram.
—And it was like a message from above.
—Well, I bet you never sleep a wink.
Nights you lie awake and think.
—But you bet I'll soon forget, when I meet and greet my love.

CHORUS 2: —Your cutey's due at two-to-two.
—She's comin' through on a big choo-choo.
—You're surely feeling fine.
—You know this gal of mine.
—She's kind o' short, —About five-foot-two.
—She's got bowlegs and cross-eyed too,
A girl I wouldn't think much of.
—But oh, my gosh, how she can love!
—Your days were blue. —My nights were black.
—Don't cry; you soon will have her back.
—I love her and she loves me, and, say,
—Tonight you'll disconnect your phone,
—Because I want to be alone.
—My cutey's due at two-to-two today.

CHORUS 3: —My days were blue; my nights were black,
But I just knew that she'd come back,
For I love her and she loves me, and, say,
—Don't think there ain't no Santa Claus.
—I know darn well there is because
—My cutey's due at two-to-two today.
My cutey's due at two-to-two today.