F.A.P.(FELINE AMERICAN PRINCESS)
Lyrics By: Mercedes Lackey/ Leslie Fish (bluestar894)
Music By: Mercedes Lackey/Leslie Fish (Tim P. Ryan)

Aren't I kind to allow you to live in my house?
Aren't I gracious to grant you the use of my chair?
Aren't I wonderful when I give you a dead mouse?
Aren't I utterly, totally, beyond compare?
And don't you admire the virtues you see
in marvelous, lovely, magnificent me-ow,
me-e-e-ow-wow-wow, me-ow, me-e-e-ow?

I will carefully shed just selected dark hairs
when I'm lying on all the white laundry you did;
And the white hairs will go, when I bother to lair
on black velvet, were they can't be brushed off or hid.
They looks so much better that way, you'll agree!
They'll remind you of lovely, magnificent me-ow,
me-e-e-ow-wow-wow, me-ow, me-e-e-ow.

If you try to insist that I live on dry food,
I will either look thin, and pathetic and sad,
Or I just might do something disgusting and rude,
such as eat it, and throw up all over your bed.
Only chicken and liver and fish, naturally,
are fit for the palate of marvelous me-ow
me-e-e-ow-wow-wow, me-ow, me-e-e-ow.

I really don't understand why you should look
at anything else or have things in your hands,
so I'll patiently lie on your papers or book
to suggest that you treat me as my rank demands.
You really should pet me when your hands are free.
It's a privilege to fondle magnificent me-ow
me-e-e-ow-wow-wow, me-ow, me-e-e-ow.

Or, just when you're maddest at something I've done,
I'll go do something else that's so touching or sweet,
that's so charming, adorable, silly or fun
it'll just knock the stockings right off of your feet.
You know you can't win, so why fight it, you see?
You know you're a sucker for marvelous me-ow
me-e-e-ow-wow-wow, me-ow, me-e-e-ow.
I know you're a sucker for marvelous me!