I have no advice to offer, but I'm planning on using that "________ shaped object" line as often as possible. I think it will prove very useful to describe non-working devices. For example, judging by the sounds it's making, I suspect I will soon be the proud owner of a washing machine shaped object.

If you would like royalties for use of the line, let me know. I have three or four lawnmower shaped objects, a recently expired shallow water jet pump shaped object, and even a Dodge pickup with a blown engine shaped object that I'd be glad to offer as payment.