Weel, the ither day ah wis gaun tae tak ma libary book back, and it stairtit teemin' doon o' rain. Jings, an' therr ah wis, wi'oot ma umbarella. So ah thocht tae masel, ah'll jist gang intae the flicks, tae see a fillum, an mebbes when ah come oot the rain will hae stopped.
Crivens, it wis Febuary in Glescae, whit else wid ye expect?

Glasgow joke
Man in phone box having failed to get through, called the operator to ask for help.
"Ah cannae get through tae speak tae ma mammy." he said.
The operator replied, "Is there money in the box?"
"Naw ah'm in here oan ma ain" he replied.