What am I ON?

Well for one, I am ON the john safely since installing the Lapper Crapper Restraint System. I also have taken over manufacturing and distribution rights for the product and hope to soon have an updated Blue Ribbon model with an added airbag feature. We had great success with the Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner and the Gordon Bok Fan and we expect this to go even better.

This device is now available from Fly-By-Night Industries, one of America's Foremost Manufacturers. We have been manufacturing Foremost for years and now also have the new and larger Fivemost available. All of our products come with a money back guarantee. Simply return the unused portion of the product and we will return the unused portion of your money.