This is really difficult for me but I feel it is time to leave the closet. I have been living a lie since I was a teenager. I grew up in the 50s and 60s when it was compulsory to be abused by your best friends horse, discover you have dispraxlexnumobula and protest about what man was doing to the world population of the spotted stoat. Since then I have pretended to have all sorts of issuess. I toyed with being an anorexic lesbian for a while - After all I like women and every time I look in a mirror I see a fat bloke. But it didn't work out. The next phase was to saw off one of my legs but I chickened out (See - I have a healthy streak of cowardice too!)

So, at long last, I am openly admiting - I am normal. There, I have said it now. I know it's a shock but I feel much better for it. It is a bewildering condition that affects so many people. We are easy to spot because we spend our lives doing normal things. Instead of ranting and raving about all the worlds ills, we get on and do something. Instead of rioting we go into shops through the day and, this may be difficult to believe, pay for things. We are neither super intelligent autistics nor pig ignorant doctors. We can read, write, sing, dance and do all sorts of things that we are subjected to guilt for. And the trouble is no-one knows we are there. It is as if we never existed.

Spare a thought for my plight, and that of billions of others. Send petitions to all the worlds governments. Post to every site on the internet. Above all, remember to support us in those little ways. Send money. Buy beer. Offer free passes to mainstream concerts.

Go on. You know you want to.

DtG