I was attending a meeting one evening, but we were all having a pot-luck dinner before the meeting started. Across the table from me was a tall, very attractive young woman whose first name was Kristin (she pronounced it "KRIS-tin"). The man sitting next to her opened the conversation by addressing her as "Kris." She smilingly but firmly told him right off that she preferred to be addressed as "Kristin." He got the point right away, apologized, and from then on, addressed her as "Kristin."

I definitely respect that.

I've known a couple of Williams who preferred (insisted) on being addressed as "Will" rather than "Bill." There are numerous others, but they escape me at the moment.

My sister's name is Patricia. She prefers "Pat," but definitely not "Patsy."

My wife's name is Barbara. She prefers all three syllables (as contrasted with Barbra Streisand). "Barby" is okay with cousins and close friends, but "Babs" is no-go, and "Barb" will set her teeth on edge. To her, it sound hard, and conjures up images of fish hooks. Don't!

With my own first name, I'm perfectly fine with "Don." Especially within the last few decades when, in television sit-coms, the name "Donald" is frequently relegated to the stock doofus or klutz in the show, usually emphasizing the last syllable:   "Don-ULD!" I stomped heavily on "Donnie" when I was about twelve or thirteen. That seemed a bit undignified for someone whose name means "Mighty Chieftain" and harks back to the mists of Scottish history.

I try to make it a point to use the name by which the person was introduced, especially if they introduced themselves.

Simple courtesy.

Don Firth

P. S. The penchant for using diminutives in the last several decades (and maybe even longer) is responsible for a lot of the atrocities that parents have wrought on their children. I spent a few years working as a telephone operator for Ma Bell, a job characteristically held by women. Many of the younger women bore names like "Kathy" and "Tammy." A little questioning produced the data that that was the name on their birth certificate, not "Catherine" or "Tamara."

And James who lives across the hall prefers to be called "James," not "Jim," and certainly not "Jimmie."

The woman who lives directly upstairs bears the name "Rebecca." She tends to frown if anyone calls her "Becky."

There is another young woman who lives a couple of floors up from me who introduces herself as "Melissa." She adopted that name herself. She said that the name on her birth certificate is "Misty Dawn." "My parents were hippies," she explained.

If you spawn a potential future world leader or professional person, fer Gawd's sake, don't handicap them right from the start!