Noreen, I think that you are of the same generation as me, and had the same kind of expectations placed upon you as a post-war girl-child. The work ethic, together with the expectation that we would marry and have children, look after a home, and have a career, and keep our husbands happy, with a good solid chunk of guilt if we were failing to keep up the standards.
I made a conscious effort to shake off the guilt, and the diet, when I was 40 and ran away with a bass player. It has taken till now (52) to stop worrying about stuff and look around me. We don't have to earn a lot of money, unless we want to own a lot of stuff. If a person wants to drive a new car every year, then they have to put up with the stress at work to pay for it. Their choice.
Since I stopped working, and allowed my husband to be the mortgage payer, I have become rich beyond the dreams of avarice, but in time, not money. And it's the time that you need to pick the daisies, and to find yourself.
Love, Bron.