The first verse of the mince pie song goes:-

"I went round to parliament, I'd been sent there to dust it.
Found a meeting on inside,
One young man got up and cried,
Matters we'll no longer mince,our country must be lead,
We'll not mince matters no said I,
We'll all mince pies instead"

Chorus;
Second verse.

"I've a girl friend all my own, there's no one else will have her,
Her face Ive not tasted yet, It's so slobbery and so wet,
(I dont know the start of this line), she came up to my side,
What is the thing that you like best?
I grinned and then replied.

Chorus;