Peter, I hope you're feeling much better today. And since I'm in the mood to fart about, lemme tell you about bypass surgery, all true to life as recounted by that friend I mentioned earlier.

He said that where his chest had been opened caused him very little discomfort. BUT, where they took some veins from his leg--well, THAT hurt like a sonuvagun for a few weeks. He was back on fire calls commanding a scene just six weeks after the quintuple bypass operation, and that's no word of a lie. He's like the energizer bunny: takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'. He did grumble about some dietary changes he was forced to make, and to my knowledge he still does, but he made them.

Another thing you won't like post-op are the damned coumadin (blood thinner) 'sticks' (although you may luck out and get pills instead). They are sub-cutaneous and they hurt like the dickens. Mine were given in the skin a few inches above the belly button. (I'd had a hip replacement.) When the nurse came in I would greet her with, "Well, if it isn't the Angel of Love and Light!" She would reply along the lines of, "I'll ask the doctor if we can halve the dose and double the injections." I would say, "You DO brighten my day." About a month later I took her a box of chocolates. Nice gal.

The thing that's so positive about waking up feeling like you've been run over by a lorry is the waking up part. As Kendall(?) mentioned, bypass surgery is routine these days. I'd get a bit apprehensive if your doctor walks in to the operating theatre carrying a copy of 'The Beginner's Guide to Grey's Anatomy', 'Surgery for the Novice' or 'How To Plumb Your Kitchen Sink While Taking LSD-25', but otherwise you'll waste lots of worry on something you don't need to worry about. There are as many possible complications getting teeth pulled, but I've heard that since the days of Lister hospitals have got a handle on the importance of cleanliness, and they understand the prophylactic measures necessary to prevent infection.

They know what they're doing. Believe that, because they really do.