In the Aged Cheese thread Skipjack K8 mentioned "What a friend we have in cheeses" as a song they sometimes sing in church. Which reminded me I have a churchgoing atheist friend (actually, he would probably prefer to be labeled a "freethinker") who is fond of singing

What a friend we have in Jesus!
Christ Almighty, what a pal!

And I keep meaning to ask here if anybody has any more lyrics to this particular parody, or any other parodies of the hymn "What a friend we have in Jesus" (the DT already has things called "What a friend we has in Rhoda", "What a friend we have in Willy", and "What a friend we have in [J Edgar] Hoover", as well as independent texts to the same tune titled Ballad of Compensation and Chinese Maiden's Lament. Any more out there (including the rest of my atheist buddy's lines)?

Liland