OK, sorry about this:-



The Essex Wassail
1.Come all Chavs and Chavettes for' tis New Year's Day,
Pray weld on your baseball caps- into the the fray,
We'll go a binge drinking with language most foul,
Like rabid rotweilers to the main streets of Slough.

2. Our life's a widescreen, if yer know warra mean,
We all love 'X Factor' and 'Pirates of the Caribbeen'.
So to celebrate good taste and with customary grace
We'll give you a knucklebutty or a glass in the face.

Chorus
Wassail, Wassail, from Essex we hail,
We'll drink gnatspiss lager and watch Jeremy Kyle, innit!
And like that used condom that floats in the loo,
We'll flush out the old year and welcome the new!

3. From the taxis they tumble, those birds of a kind,
Call each other "baybs" as they eff and they blind,
Some they will pewk up and some may get laid,
And some will call each other effin slags and in they'll all wade.

4. Now some will present the most wond'rous of sights,
As vast tattooed flab spills from dresses too tight,
Though their gobs they are mighty, their braincells are few,
As they paint the town red while they turn the air blue

Chorus: Wassail, wassail

5. We're on a hair trigger, blue lights flash everywhere,
As we stagger on like lemmings from bar unto bar,
In the doorways we'll copulate, upon a broken window pane,
So join in our wassail, and get pissed out of your brain

Chorus: Wassail, wassail
Add:-
So let's spread this ancient Essex custom the whole nation through,
Let's flush out the old year and welcome the new!
So let's toast the work of Peter Andre and of Posh Spice too,
Let's flush out the old year and welcome the new!