LOVE, DEATH, DIVORCE, PRISON, ALCOHOL, RIVERS, AND TRAINS
As sung by The Humpff Family on "Father's" (1994)

I met some old friends in a bar a while ago.
We talked about some old times an' what happened to Joe,
But later in the evenin' we all wanted to know:
What changed us? I'll tell you: love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.
Pretty soon you realize we're all shackled by these chains.
We may drive in diff'rent cars an' drive in diff'rent lanes,
But we still got love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.

I went into a country bar an' they called the Brandin' Tongs,
An' there was young Hank Williams singin' country songs.
I felt I had to say to him: "Hank, you got it wrong.
You want to make it, you gotta sing 'bout love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.
Pretty soon you realize we're all shackled by these chains.
When ev'ry lonesome whippoorwill lies drowning in the drains,
There'll still be love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains."

Well, darlin', don't you mind.
Life is still the tragedy to find,
And if you can't laugh at these,
Well, life will bring you to your knees.
You must accept the blind will lead the blind.

I went to see one of those new movies last night
Made by French Canadians an' shot in blue light.
There was a laugh with ev'ry murder; ev'ry love scene had a fight.
There's a meanin', I'll tell you: love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.
Pretty soon you realize we're all shackled by these chains.
No matter how you wrap it, the message still remains:
Love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.

Love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains—
Pretty soon you realize we're all shackled by these chains.
We may all drive diff'rent cars an' drive in diff'rent lanes.
When ev'ry lonesome whippoorwill lies drowning in the drains,
No matter how you wrap it, the message still remains:
Love, death, divorce, prison, alcohol, rivers, an' trains.