I just dashed off a new bit of doggerel, in regards to the following story from today's "Charlotte Observer"

CUMBERLAND COUNTY
"Man charged in sex offense involving neighbor's dog"

FAYETTEVILLE-- A 33 year-old man is free on bond after being accused of having sex with a neighbor's dog.

The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office said Ray Lynn Mitchham, Jr., who lives in Linden was arrested Monday and charged with a felony crime against nature.

The sheriff's office says the complaint was filed by the dog's owner who is also Mitcham's landlord. She told deputies she went to Mitcham's residence early on Jan. 2 to speak with him. When she opened the door of his mobile home, she said she witnessed the act.

Debbie Tanna, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, told Raleigh's WRAL-TV that the dog, a mixed breed female, was taken to a veterinarian, who recovered a DNA sample. The sheriff's office siad it determined Monday that the DNA matched Mitcham's.

Mitcham appeared in court Monday morning and was released on $5000 bond.


And here it is:


Help Me Make It Through The Night

Take the ribbon from your fur
Shake it loose and let it drop
Leave your dog food in the bowl
Just forget that awful slop

Come and lay down by my side
On the carpet by the chair
Never mind your foolish pride
As I remove my underwear

I don't care what's right or wrong!
I don't care about the law
I've turned off the blasted phone
And now I'm reaching for your paw

Mary's gone away downtown
Here we are, we're all alone
Help me make it through the night
And I'll give you this chewing bone...

I don't care what's right or wrong!
You don't have to be afraid
I've done things like this before
With my ex-wife's former maid

Yesterday is dead and gone
And the vet is out of sight
There's fresh pork roast in the oven
Help me make it through the night

- Krass Krostifferson, Folkporn Records