THE OLD BACHELOR
As sung by A. L. Lloyd (accompanied by Dave Swarbrick & Alf Edwards) on the various-artists album "The Bird in the Bush: Traditional Songs of Love and Lust" (1996)

1. I am an old bachelor, sixty-and-three,
And nary young girl has ever lain with me.
I know little of women, very little indeed.
Folks say they're good for me and just what I need.

REFRAIN: Derry, down, down—down, derry, down.

2. It's all o' last winter for frost and for cold
Not a grain of kind warmth could I ever get at all.
Me legs they was tremblin' and so was me feet,
And I couldn't use hot bricks for burnin' the sheet.

3. Me old uncle Georgie's as crafty as hell.
He advised me to marry and I would do well,
And the first that I fancied was young Jenny Green,
A nice little creature just goin' on sixteen.

4. We sent for the parson, got married with speed,
Gave no thought of hot bricks or burnin' the sheet,
For all kinds of liquor had gone to our head,
And how we was longin' to get to our bed!

5. For two hours and better she lay at me back,
And then she begun for to mumble and crack.
"Aha! you old devil, rouse up if you can.
You've somethin' to do yet to show you're a man."

6. I lay there and thought she was havin' a dream,
But she jabbed in me ribs and said she could scream.
Then she jumped out the bed and back home she run in,
And I tell you, I missed the kind warmth of her skin.

7. Well, early next mornin' her old mother come in.
She raged and she scolded; I said, "What do you mean?"
"Aha! you old devil, you're both joined together,
Yet you never once tried for to make her a mother."

8. With the old wife's advice we both went off to bed,
And with her instructions we fell to the trade,
And when nine full month and a half-day had run,
Damn me if she don't bring a fine strappin' son!