Hi Marion. Wish I hadn't been too busy to jump in here before 'cause it's a topic near and dear to my heart.

First of all JP Cormier or Dave MacIsaak would absolutely have NOT played along without an invitation. They've been around, and know that without politeness they wouldn't be so well thought of by now.

Secondly it's bloody near impossible to have a "win/win" situation from what you've described. My suggestion comes straight from the "Quentin Crisp" school of dealing with the undealable. If you want to sing (or play) on your own. Simply tell the "play along with everyone" musicians that "accompaniement makes you nervous and you forget words!" It may be a lie, but it should get them to shut up.

They don't see their actions as being rude, but if you have a certain way of doing a song you should NOT have to cater to people who've never invested one minute in YOUR music.

Rick