I had a dream this morning where I was about to sing "The Cocks Are Crowing" when someone's cell phone went off with one of these annoying, funked-up ringtones. So (while waking) I set about rewriting "The Cocks Are Crowing" as a ringtone lyric, and this is what emerged:

The phone is ringing, someone is appealing
for you attendance at his whim.
Arise, you laggard, out of your stupor;
arise, you laggard, and answer him.

(My apologies: if I worked at it, I'm sure I could come up with a less sarcastic version without male-centric pronouns. But truth in reporting...)


The Challenge: Write a short parody of a folk song for use as a ringtone.