The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142452   Message #3298096
Posted By: Don Firth
28-Jan-12 - 04:51 PM
Thread Name: BS: Young Earth Creationism Eureka!
Subject: RE: BS: Young Earth Creationism Eureka!
Buford Wappler was unable to work outside because it was raining something terrible, so he stayed inside and listened to his favorite religious program on the radio. Suddenly, it was interrupted by a news bulletin. Due to the rain up north, the river was flooding and at certain points, it was overtopping the levees. The authorities were ordering an evacuation of the area.

Buford looked out the front door and it was raining very heavily. But instead of getting into his truck and driving toward the hills, he got down on his knees and began to pray. He prayed that God rescue him from the flood.

He looked outside again, and water was pouring into the area. A neighbor drove by and stopped in front of his house. The neighbor had packed his family and as many possessions as possible into his pickup truck, but he stopped and called Buford to come out and join them as they drove to higher ground. Buford thanked him kindly, but said, "I'm not worried. I prayed to God, and He will rescue me from the flood." The neighbor tried to persuade him to join them, but he refused.

Soon the water had risen to the top step of his front porch. He went up into the attic of his one-story house, opened a hatch, and climbed out on the roof. As he sat there holding on to the chimney, the rushing waters rose several more feet until they began lapping at the eaves.

Once again he prayed to God to rescue him from the flood.

He heard the sound of an engine coming toward him. It was a man in a boat with an outboard motor attached. He pulled over to the edge of the roof and said, "Get aboard, man, quick!"

"No," said Buford, "I prayed to God, and He will rescue me!" The man was insistent, but once again, Buford refused.

The waters continued to rise. Now, Buford was straddling the peak of the roof, and the water was lapping at his shoes. Once again, he prayed.

He heard a loud sound coming closer, and a helicopter appeared overhead and hovered over him. A man leaned out the open door, began dropping a rope ladder, and shouted, "We're from the National Guard! Get on board!"

"Thank you," said Buford, "but I prayed to God, and God will rescue me!"

"Don't be an idiot!" shouted the national guardsmen. "Get on board! NOW!"

"No!" yelled Buford. "I have faith in God! He will rescue me!"

In exasperation, the national guardsman yelled something unintelligible, and the helicopter veered off and headed down-river.

A few minutes later, the force of the rushing water swept Buford off the roof. Not being a strong swimmer, he struggled and splashed in the waters, then sank from sight.
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A very soggy, muddy Buford appeared before the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter took one look at him, gazed upward, and rolled his eyes.

"I want to see God right away!" Buford demanded. "Where do I find Him?"

Saint Peter pointed down the Golden Avenue and said, "All the way to the end and through the Golden Door."

Buford strode briskly down the Golden Avenue and when he arrived at the Golden Door, he pushed his way in unceremoniously. There, down the long aisle, he saw a large, muscular man with a full white beard and a magnificent mane of white hair, dressed in something like a toga and sandals, and seated on a golden throne, listening to a chorus of beautiful angels playing celestial music on harps. As Buford walked angrily down the aisle, God looked up.

"Oh!" said God in a deep rumbling voice, "It's YOU!"

"I had FAITH in you!" yelled Buford, angrily. "I prayed to you to rescue me from the flood! And you DIDN'T!!"

"What do you mean, I didn't?" responded the deep, rumbling voice. "I sent you a warning on the radio about the flood well ahead of time. Then I sent one of your neighbors in a pickup truck. Then, the man in the motorboat. And finally, a National Guard helicopter!"

Then, as God glowered at Buford, the skies darkened, lightning flashed, and thunder rumbled in the distance. And God, Himself, thundered:

"What the hell you WANT from me!!???"

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Moral of the story:    God gave us brains. I think He intends that we USE them.

Don Firth