To the tune of "Skip to My Lou":

Well, Melissa, how's your valve?
Well, Melissa, how's your valve?
Well, Melissa, how's your valve?
Melissa to the hardware store, now!

Fixed my faucet, how's your valve?
Fixed my faucet, how's your valve?
Fixed my faucet, how's your valve?
Dani to the hardware store, now!

All clap slowly, how's your valve?
All clap slowly, how's your valve?
All clap slowly, how's your valve?
Andrez to the hardware store now!

Hold your breath now, how's your valve?
Hold your breath now, how's your valve?
Hold your breath now, how's your valve?
Charley to the hardware store now!

Deafening silence, how's your valve?
Deafening silence, how's your valve?
Deafening silence, how's your valve?
Bobert to the hardware store now!

Hope for the best now, how's your valve?
Hope for the best now, how's your valve?
Hope for the best now, how's your valve?
We're all at the hardware store now!