Regarding slow trains, John Gould, a Maine humorist set down a tale of a man seeking the fastest hound dog in the state of Maine, in a small book of the same name. Being an admirer of those small editions of a Shakespeare play where the play takes up about 30% of the book and the annotations ABOUT the play take up the other 70%, he used a similar technique in this book.

This gentleman was seeking a fast dog to catch hare that grazed on seaweed washed up in the Bay of Fundy, which has some of the fastest tides in the world. The hare are purpose-built for this task, being equipped with very large hind legs in order to beat the tide up the tidal bore.

After a number of humorous comments about his quest for the dog, he actually purchases it, intending to take it back home on the train with him. Unfortunately the Bangor and Witopitlock Railway only allows crated dogs in the baggage car; a point an officious conductor is quick to make to him.

The solution seems to be to tie the dog to the railing of the rear car of the train, to run along behind. A small wager developes about the dog's ability to keep up, and the two men make frequent trips to the rear of the train to check on things. The end up is, after several trips back, and the train actually picking up a bit of speed, they both go back to find the dog nowhere to be seen. As the conductor falls all over himself trying to claim the bet, the owner looks up, first one side of the train, and then the other, to discover the dog running along on three legs, wetting down a hotbox.*

* Hotbox is the railway name for an inadequately lubricated journal bearing - the bearing where the end of the wheel's axle runs - a real hazard in the old days when the oily waste packed therein could catch fire from friction and set the entire rail car on fire. Today with better roller nearings this is no longer a problem.

Dave