Okay, I didn't want to do it, but I will.

For the price of a donation to the Lung Association cause above, I will exercise on your behalf. I will give up the benefits, and you will get them without leaving your sofa.

So you can request 50 floors of stair climbing, 20 minutes of elliptical cross-country running, 10 minutes of trotting a treadmill at 4.3MPH and 15-degree incline, and I will do them so you don't have to. I can also do abdominal crunches over a ball and work-outs on the Roman chair. An upper-body weight circuit will incur an extra charge, as I'll have to be sore for you for three days. I'll stationary cycle for you, but that has a boredom surcharge.

Donate enough, and you'll be in great shape in no time.

Sorry, I don't "do" running.