I can't believe I missed this thread.

I have never heard two people sing it the same way. Here's the way I sing it.


Seven Dear Old Ladies


(Tune: Johnny's so long at the Fair)

Oh, dear, what can the matter be
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat'ry
They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first lady's name was Elizabeth Porter
She was the Bishop of Winchester's daughter
She went in to pass some superfluous water
And nobody knew she was there

The second lady's name was Harriette Humphrey
She settled down and was ever so comfy
She tried to get up but could not get her bum free
And nobody knew she was there

The third Lady's name it was Winifred Wicker
She went in there in a race with the vicar
She tried to get in but the vacar was quicker
And nobody knew she was there

The fourth lady's name it was Rowena Riddle
She lifted her skirt for a quick little tiddle
but she caught her heel it tore right up the middle
And nobody knew she was there

The fifth lady's name was Penelope Pender;
She went there to adjust her suspender.
but she got it caught up in her feminine gender
And nobody knew she was there

The sixth lady's name it was Clarabelle Carter
She was renowned as a wonderful farter
she played God Save the Queen and The Moonlight Sonata
And nobody knew she was there

The seventh lady's name it was Millicent Mason
The closet was full so she used the hand basin
And that is the water that I washed my face in
And nobody knew she was there