'Is it really true that all the clubs in the rest of the country are full of singer/songwriters and out of tune guitarists singing Dylan and The Beatles'

Well that's only the traddies, the rest of us sing songs by Radiohead and that bloke that's married to Gwynneth Paltrow.

Personally speaking i play a Yamaha and we are so out of tune - but to be honest, we're out of our head on drugs and we don't generally notice. You're not by my brother, are you...? If you are. you owe me four quid....from 1976.