WHEN I AM GONE by Gill Burns

Weep no salt tears for me
When I am gone
No grief or misery
When I am gone
And don't pay a bloody undertaker
Get some nails and some glue and felt to make a
Coffin out of chipboard
When I am gone

No sighs and gloom for me
When I am gone
Build no great tomb for me
When I am gone
Keep your money in your pockets and in your purses
Don't seduced by fancy hearses
Put me in a Transit
When I am gone

Weep not so loud for me
When I am gone
No pure white shroud for me
When I am gone
Just me wooly tights and me thermal vest
I'd hate for the damp to get to my chest
You can keep my bed socks
When I am gone

Wail not your woes for me
When I am gone
Wear no black clothes for me
When I am gone
Oh red or green or yellow will do
But you won't catch anyone dressed in blue
I'll take the Tories with me
When I am gone

Sing no sad airs for me
When I am gone
No canting prayers for me
When I am gone
But sing me a song with a good refrain
If they don't get it right make 'em do it again
And after have a ceilidh
When I am gone

Recite no eulogy
When I am gone
Smile for the memory
When I am gone
No mournful little tea with lettuce and ham
Just to satisfy the people who never gave a damn
But have it in a brewery
When I am gone.